It’s the first week still, i know. Sinus infection might not be helping too much either. But my head is so heavy, and as soon as I take my tiny pill I get ever so drowsy and feel like a hangover has arrived. Instant hangover. With no drinking. Kind of a bummer. But this is just the start, and I’ve been here before, It will change a thousand time before the medication finds it’s stabile point and I start seeing life in colour again. Which I must admit that I’m looking forward to.
Sometimes it bubbles strangely in my stomach, bit like butterflies. or like the feeling before the feeling before throwing up. Or being hungry. Mostly I’m just hungry. I could eat anything anytime anywhere.
And then the irritability (which is worsened by the pseudo hangover) that makes me unbearable to my family. But I make an effort and it’s only a short time before things get normal, so we just laugh at it. Unless us adults get bickering after the kids are asleep. But still just a phase.
On the other sides, things will most likely be different and better. And as most schizotypy people know, things are always just a bit different. As if we’ve been let in on a secret no one else has. Luckily, I mostly have positive symptoms; creative thinking, high IQ and ladida like that. But this sense of the unreal taking over is what really gets to me. Which is why I’m back on meds after having a break when trying to have our second child and nursing. My autopilot is fantastic so nobody will ever know about my ‘thing’ unless I tell them. But it is a huge part of my life. I’m just lucky to have the ability and people around me to deal with all of this and lead a perfectly normal life as well. Something I think a lot of people do, but don’t tell anyone about. So if you want to share a story, comment or send me an email – will do some features of other ‘strange’ people like myself in the future on the site!